On point, in my lifetime

First of all, I’m grateful to be alive. This year is somewhat my busiest work year and I hope I hadn’t stretched myself so hard that I am compromising my health. I fully accept my middle aged momentum to now enter the latter half part of my life at 45. I will be 46 in a couple of weeks and quite grateful with the kind of life I have lived as ecomaray that I started in my 20s.

In the early 2000s, my family barely understood the career path I am taking. 20 years later, there is just so much work, so much opportunities, so much things to do in fighting climate change and so much stress in everything that is happening that it is more practical to focus on something specific and specialized.

I have been the country’s F-gas control national expert during the NDC 3.0 update but I think it somewhat burned me out, I’m struggling with my identity as a technical expert on F-gases and doing the leg work in sustaining the funding for the work we do based on donor priorities. I am hoping more younger people would go into this field with very limited people and most people are still struggling with the technicalities related to the work we do, as if advocacy is enough.

Will I see the phase-out of fossil fuels in my lifetime?

The heat pump is on

Looking in one of the courtyards in Vienna, it seems the heat pump is necessary for survival for both the cold and the heat. I even suggested in our acquisition workshop that this technology has the potential for climate change adaptation. I don’t know how this will turn out in the future, but I am sure that I know what I am doing in terms of my job.

I am the kind of person who is not really into cold weather, I always end up in chills while in the cold. I have given up opportunities to migrate in North America not because of the cold weather but due to how dysfunctional the circumstances are. Yes, the dysfunction always happen if you are not fully conscious and fully honest with yourself or with others. Often it is sad that I barely could talk heat pump to anyone, and most men are just perverts and would not take me seriously in the fight against climate change as if they are better experts and they are better at everything. It is just exhausting as if I would be happy giving up something.

Honestly, I have been quite miserable as I slowly drift away from my family’s expectations and requirements, from what I thought are my source of comfort and care. At times, I would ask myself if I am truly the problem or I just have to deal with their shadows and unconsciousness. I know I am a good person but I am not perfect, I just found things that I really love that no one within my circle of family and friends truly understood. Everything is just perceived and assumed. Nobody really cares about heat pumps or the F-gases inside but in my travels, research and exploration, I know I am doing something worthwhile.

The carbon markets is here from an unlikely source

https://pia.gov.ph/doe-to-unlock-economic-and-environmental-benefits-with-new-carbon-credit-policy-for-the-energy-sector/

The first real rules for carbon trading will soon be out. I attended the stakeholder consultation last Tuesday and yes there will be something to start with but within the scope of the energy sector. I guess the energy ministry pushed through because they are bombarded by project developers who want to cash in on what is happening globally.

I started working with the carbon markets in 2008 when I was working for a corporate fast food company. Almost every month a carbon market project developer would approach us and propose a project idea to capture the methane from the grease traps of fast food restaurants (waste) and the relatively feasible conversion of used cooking oil into biodiesel (energy). The corporate management was not really looking at it as a business venture but more of a corporate social responsibility scheme to make the company look good after multiple notice of violations on noncompliance with the fats, oil and grease (FOG) waste water parameters.

That was the time when I started my blog on fastfood greenwash where everyone seems not to take our jobs seriously. They thought public relations and communications are more effective than really doing the measurement, reporting and verification. In most of our workshops, I had been called too technical, using common words like ambient air quality and wastewater effluent. Oh Lord, after two masters degrees and now working towards my PhD, there are still a lot of people who think that what I do is not that serious and worthwhile, and its all PR and communications.

Participants working with vulnerable populations and local communities who can’t seem to understand what the policy is all about, but the organizers were gracious enough to respect their point. Local communities and local government units can apply as project developers. The project development and verification process has always been complicated and it really takes a lot of integrity to have complete and accurate information on emission reductions that are additional and fully attributable to the project. I guess there is still that perception that what we do are just narratives without the proper measures.

Just transition or simply a natural death of industry

My short-term assignment as the national expert on industrial process and product use is about to end in a few weeks and a transition back to graduate school is something I will have to look forward to. I just received the email confirmation that my proposed adviser for the PhD program has confirmed her willingness to work with me on my research topic on frostbite. Is this perfect timing, or simply ways to torture myself to fulfill my academic temptation. I was dreading to go back to work full time to my old day job, everything seems horrible in our office, I would prefer to work part-time or even just as a contractor.

Today is my 9th year anniversary working for my organization but I am quite disappointed at how things had turned out, they just dumped too much work on me that I believe no longer fits my qualification and my work didn’t even generate an impactful knowledge product. Everything seemed shallow and superficial, it feels mediocre. The people who contracted me for this short-term assignment were quite impressed at what I am capable of doing and I am likely to get another short-term assignment on “decarbonization of hard-to-abate industries” and as advised by my mentor and friend who also underwent the same route of employment opportunities, just grab whatever good things you can get, now that you are part of the roster of experts.

Even if opportunities for decarbonization is vast, the information I gathered from the local industry was quite disappointing. It seems we failed to meet the peaking of emissions of core heavy industries like steel and chemicals manufacturing. The energy cost is too high, the raw materials are imported and closing down the business seems like the most feasible thing you can do. Then how about the workers? As if it’s the natural course of things and not fighting for a just energy transition. The national emissions are not high because industry is dying because of the lack of competitive advantage with neighboring ASEAN countries just like my experience with Yamal LNG.

What are we really good at? Call centers and business process outsourcing, there is the growth of the service sector who can only do energy efficiency, the foundation, the basic energy source according to Art Rosenfeld and my collaborators from Berkeley Labs. I am still charged to that project but it is evolving into something quite unsatisfying for someone like mee…dee pee.