Moving Forward…Confidently

It is my third year to work in BV, I guess so far the greatest challenge I overcame was getting married.  I had the worst fear of marriage ever. I had been satisfied with my life, my single blessedness with a kid in tow and marriage had always been a plunge into the unknown or what I had expected is something that is meant to fail based on experience. But marriage is a growth whether rapid-expansive or stunted it is growth and like time it is moving forward and never back.

Whatever my situation right now, it is moving towards a goal, composed of small visions and missions, specific objectives and measurable targets…oops. Why oops, it seems I kind of lost sight…I know what I am capable of doing but it seems I am not maximizing my service. Its almost a decade since I had defined my purpose and almost fifteen year since I established the professional timeline. Actually, at this point in my life, I had envisioned that I will be taking my doctorate somewhere in a foreign university.  But no opportunity had sprung up and the rejection is kind of painful and I ask God is this really your plan for me? Given my current line of sight or line of mind, this seems to be a path towards mediocrity.  I know God did not create me to become a mediocre ISO auditor.

This is my point of uncertainty, should I move forward? If so, towards what direction? I have a Masters Degree in Environmental Science, is the next step to get a PhD? Or just fight out the threat of mediocrity, whatever that threat might be. Fighting out mediocrity and wasting precious energy, that would be fighting the laws of nature, particularly the law of thermodynamics.

Can I use the blogsphere to get academic funding? Oh Lord, this just hurts so much.

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